hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
