You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
