I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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