how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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