I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Randomize
