he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
