Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Randomize