bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Randomize
