You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
