he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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