So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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