He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
