i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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