I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
