I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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