she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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