The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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