he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
