her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize