she was so not down for the gang bang
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
