It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize