sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
