I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
