Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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