Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
