I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
