He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
