I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
