just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
My pussy is not your playground.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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