dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
