Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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