I love black thongs
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
