I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
