you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
