people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
