She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
