I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
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