Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
