even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
