at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
