Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You are the jesus of drinking
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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