I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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