I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
