she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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