Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Randomize
