What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
