I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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