her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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