Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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