I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
