You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
They are going to name an STD after you.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
