My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
