dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Church boner. Awkwardddd
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
