Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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