Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
