white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Randomize
