He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
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